Solly as a Rock!!

The first time I was not ready yet, I know now. The second time was nor good nor terribly bad, yet I failed, again, but sh*t happens. So I thought third time lucky. Not! I managed to suppress my fear-of-exams with happy thoughts and positive visualisations, yet one minute into my driver’s exam, I discovered my left outside mirror was in a wrong position. “No!”, I thought, “Don’t panic!” Too late. Immediately I could not think normally anymore. I made one mistake after another. Murphy’s Law: anything I could do wrong, I did wrong. And I knew it. It were the longest 35 minutes of my life! When we got out – miraculously unharmed – my instructor looked at me, and asked me what the F* happened?! I had no clue. It felt like some sort of out body experience combined with a total black out. I failed, off course.

The first time, I could blame it on the instructor, the second time, I could blame it on the examiner, this time, the only one I can blame is myself… I am not sure if I want to do this one more time!

Millions of men will panic today when they learn that women have FOUR G-spots. It is the worst possible news for blokes who have struggled to find ONE.

They are being put on the spot by human biologist Desmond Morris, who believes there are three more super-sensitive zones in the upper part of the vagina. He has dubbed them the U-spot, C-spot and A-spot in his new book The Naked Woman.(source)

So, MyLove and I have work to do ;-D !!!

You know its ‘Autumn in Holland’ when you discover a web between the saddle and the luggage carrier of your bicycle which a diadem spider has created overnight… It did not survive the ride, though…

Apparently, one of the ‘advantages’ of being unemployed, is sleeping late. One of the prejudices towards unemployed peoples is, that us jobless people stay in bed till 10 or 11 AM. At least. (Often heard comment when I make an appointment at coffee time – around 10 AM : so you had to get up early today…). Please! I am a morning person. I get up at 7:30 AM. I have my most productive hours before noon. I can’t function after sunset. I am in fact the complete opposite of MyLove, though this comes in very handy in terms of arrangements concerning computer access ;-D However, I have a dilemma. MyLove is doing this internship. Not in Hong Kong, India or Turkey as planned, but North of Amsterdam. So he has to get up early – really early – every day. At 5:45 AM. And I too. He just can’t get out of bed if I’m still in it. I don’t mind, I drink coffee and eat with him. I kiss him goodbye. At 6:25 AM. And then what? Previously, I just started the day early. But then again, this is an hour earlier. There’s absolutely no reason to stay awake: nothings open, no shops, no offices – so I get back to bed. The first week, I had set the alarmclock at 7:30 AM. Not a good plan: the music roughly interrupted my REM-sleep and I was cranky all day long. This week, I have my alamclock set at.. 9 (NINE!) AM. Really, really late, according to my standards. Fortunately, I wake up half an hour earlier, so I don’t feel like a ‘slacker’ yet…

I don’t like doing groceries.

The only reason I do them is, because the alternative is hunger and starvation. (Sending MyLove out would have that same result: he thinks we can actually survive on coffee, beer and peanuts only). I hope the inventors of the freezer and refrigerator have received a Nobel-prize for their brilliant ideas, as they have made it possible that I only have to plan one visit per week to the place I imagine being Hell: the supermarket. I plan my weekly ‘tour of duty’ like a military campaign. The action plan is divided in three sections:

Section 1: Non Food. On the list is everything that we might run out off in the coming week .

Section 2: Food. After I’ve checked this week’s special offers – on the supermarket’s websites! – and have taken in account MyLove’s weekly suggestions – Beer! Chips! Lasagna! – I write down all the meals for the week. Then I make a list of the necessary ingredients.

Section 3: Time. Careful long term surveillance has revealed the perfect time to shop. 1200 hours. No seniors, no stay-at-home-moms and certainly no kids. Fast shopping without delay at the counter.

Yes, I know, this too sounds incredibly like a compulsive act, but it is NOT. I just don’t like doing the groceries, yet I like regularity and order. (I will go more than once a week – but only in an emergency, like unexpected dinner guests…)

At first I thought the coffee needed a bit more time to do its job – it still being early and all…

Then I thought it was the hangover – however, I immediately dismissed that thought considering the total absence of alcohol in my drinks last night…

Maybe I was experiencing the first signs of aging – should I schedule an appointment with an optician a.s.a.p.?

Finally I realised – really it took me about half an hour of staring at the screen – that MyLove has set the screen’s resolution to 1280 x 1024!

Shh…shh…Be very silent… I’m listening if I can hear my biological clock ticking… No *relieved* can’t hear a thing.

You might wonder why was I listening in the first place? Because all my old classmates from school have kids except me? Because half of my friends is pregnant/trying/just delivered – almost infectious? Because of family comments – you are a couple now for a long time, and you have no job at the moment, why don’t you…? Because of my

age? For all those reasons, but mostly because someone asked me last week if I did not WANT to become a mom at all.

To be completely honest: I don’t. I do not want to become a mother yet. Maybe never, who knows? Most people are shocked when I tell them this so bluntly. Apparently the purpose of a woman remains becoming a mum someday. They say: “Maybe you think differently in a couple of years”. I do not think so. (And so does my mum – she never thought about me as a mum someday. I never played ‘mum-and-dad’ or with baby dolls). Don’t get me wrong: I don’t hate kids. I like most of them, I adore one or two. But, does it make me a ‘bad’ woman if I don’t want kids of my own?

Say goodbye to the Sun, ’cause it’s moving across the equator to the Southern Hemisphere right about…NOW!

After reading the Da Vinci Code in one single breath, I bought Angels and Demons. I know, it’s the wrong order, but hey, who cares. This morning, I looked out of the window – storm, clouds and rain – and checked my agenda – empty! no appointments, finally!- and decided it is a perfect day to stay inside and read. After 3 pages, I discovered this book roughly follows the same format as the Da Vinci Code – technically, it’s the other way round, but who cares – : A murder, symbolism, suspense, a beautiful woman… but I don’t care! This one is an absolute pageturner, too, and I can’t put it down! I case you wonder about the apparent contradictio in terminus between not being able to put the book down and the writing of this post: it’s next to the keyboard...The Illumnati went underground, where they mingled with other groups who were trying to escape from the purging actions of the catholic church: mystics, alchemists, occultists, Muslims and Jews. In years to come, the Illuminati..

Officially, this year’s Autumn starts tomorrow – at 17.25 PM CET to be precise – but for me personally Autumn starts today. The 21st of September. Period. As always. Last year’s Autumn start was pretty extraordinary: I was tanning (!!!) in my inlaws back yard , for it was 25 degC and we had 9.6 hours of sun… 17degC and 4 hours of sun is normal for that time of the year. Anyway, today’s weather looks to be pretty Autumny – is that a word actually? A bit of rain, cloudy, lots of wind and a hint of sun. Nice! Unlike some people, I like Autumn. It’s the drama queen of all season’s. The Lady Macbeth, you might say, with that hint of manic depression. It IS the season of contradictions. On one hand you have decay, death, storm, howling winds. On the other hand you have the pretty coloured leafs, hot coco and hutspot with the family… I think I will go to the forest this afternoon, an try to catch the first falling leaf!