vrijdag, 21 januari 2005

The GWCC files

Location: Global Weather Control Center

Date and time: Friday 21/01/05 10:31

“Sir! It’s time for our annual systems check.”

“Already? Time flies when…

Anyway, which country shall we pick to be an unknowing participant in our test? It must be Northern Hemisphere only, than it won’t be too suspicious… Somewhere in Europe…. Ah, the Netherlands. The perfect target; sudden changes in the weather are absolutely normal there”

“Sir! We are ready for the test! We are waiting on your signal.”

“Proceed.”

“Sun”

“Check!”

“Clouds”

“Check!”

“Wind!”



“Hmmm… is it on yet? Is still see people on their bicycles… It does look like it’s working: we’re bending the trees. Increase it a bit… Perfect, we blew that girl right of her bike.”

“Check!”

“Rain”

“Check!”

“Can you vary the amount, shape of the drops and direction a bit? … Perfect!”

“Check!”

“Hail”



“Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention, can you do that once more? Ah, thanks.”

“Check!”

“Sun… Oh, we already had done the sun? Ah well, better safe than sorry…”

“Check!”

“Snow… Go from wet to dry and back”

“Check!”

“Freeze”

“Check!”

“Now push all buttons at the same time… Brilliant!”

Well, the test went just fine. Thanks for your cooperation. See you next year! Carry on as usual.”

Meanwhile, on a street in a Dutch town

“Sometimes you really think there’s some one up there messing with us. 10 Weather types in 15 minutes, and I was blown right of my bike!”

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