Solly as a Rock!!

For most people, the question “Ou-est le coffeeshop?” (pronounce:“Oo-ay luh coffeeshop”, translation:“Where’s the coffeeshop?”) will sound as an innocent question -once you figured out the French. It is not. A Dutch coffeeshop is not Starbucks. Sure, they will serve coffee. Or tea. Or milkshakes. Or beer (only in Amsterdam). But their core-business is selling soft-drugs (hash and marihuana) semi-legally (bit complicated, but the Dutch drugs policy is explained here).

Anyway, every weekend and holidays my town is flooded by young French persons, as it is the first major Dutch city you encounter after crossing the border when traveling via Paris. I live in the center of town, so I will be asked the above question several times per day -well, when I am outside, that is, it’s not that they’ll ring my doorbell and… Anyway, I stray off the subject. Focus, Solly, focus! I really don’t mind answering the question. To be honest, I like to help people and I have become fluent in giving directions in French to the nearest coffeeshop – a droit et apres deux cent metres, a gauche.

I just think it’s so sad for all the French who visit our town for it’s non-narcotic tourist attractions. We have a beautiful church, a castle or two, a forest… But as soon as they approach some-one in the street to ask for directions to that church, or castle and begin their sentence with: “Ou-est…” people will automatically give them directions to the coffeeshop. I have done that too.

Therefore, on behalf of my fellow citizens: Sorry.

We don’t want to be stereotyped, so we should not do the same to “our” tourists!

update @ 11:00 AM I just noticed I am discussing actually several subjects I graduated in at secondary school… Time to declare “Solly’s Secondary School Graduation Subjects-week”!

(…)

Any suggestions for tomorrows subject?

Too bad my English teacher probably will never read this weblog…

“You are a GRAMMAR GOD! If your mission in life is not already to preserve the English tongue, it should be. Congratulations and thank you!”

If you want to find out how grammatically sound you are, fill out this Quizilla test.

(via meisjemeisje )

Blue skies, cumulus clouds, sun

Singing birds in the morning

Leaves in every shade of green you can imagine +

Spring 2004

Still no job +

Empty bank-account

Slightly bored Solly +

Very clean house

update @ 06:30 AM Inhaling when putting on a “fresh” nicotine patch… Definitely withdrawal!

Who cares that David Beckham admits his affair to Posh, that Diego Maradona presumably O.D.’d and McDonald’s CEO died suddenly and unexpectedly…

 My love quit smoking today!!!

I will include daily updates of his withdrawal symptoms

update @ 17:30 PM One empty Pringles cylinder, 6 chewing gum wraps… I think my love’s hungry…

update @ 20:45 PM He volunteered to do the dishes immediately after diner -even before he finished his coffee! I think he tried to suppress his cravings for an after diner fag…

Since this morning, at 5:19 AM CET “we” have a Dutch guy in space! I wish I was there, to watch Earth from above… Anyway, its a big happening over here, live coverage etcetera, but for the Russians it’s routine: they have seen 1700 of these launches already…

I walked 30 km yesterday, in preparation for the Nijmegen Marches. For some people, anything above 1 (yes: one) kilometer is too far too walk, and they consider me a bit crazy in the head. I can relate to their feelings: I was watching the London Marathon and I just can not imagine how you would wanna run that far! By the way, I bet I could out-walk some of those runners…

I woke up this morning at 3:30 AM. Disoriented, yet convinced I had heard someone shouting outside. I got out of bed and peaked through the curtains. On the road below I saw a man. He was wearing shoes, a shirt and a jacket. No pants. Definitely no pants. I pinched my arm, rubbed my eyes and looked again. The man-without-pants was still there, yet hiding in some bushes now. I giggled, while thinking about my piece on Ironing men. Suddenly the man got out of the bushes and ran towards a passing taxi. “Stop!” he shouted “I was robbed!” he shouted. The taxi slowed down and stopped. The man talked to the driver. I couldn’t hear what was said, but after a while the man said “never mind” and walked back into the bushes. The taxi took off. Hmmm, strange, very strange indeed. I phoned the police and described the situation. They promised to send out a car. Sure. I went back into bed, cause a half– naked guy hiding in the bushes across the road gets boring in the end. 15 Minutes later, I hear a van outside. I peaked through the curtains: the police. They slowly pass the bushes, car lights trying to penetrate the dense vegetation. They did not stop or get out of the van. The man was not found. He had hidden from the light. When the police left empty-handed, he left the bushes. He looked around and up. I closed my curtains. 5 Minutes later, I peaked out again, only to see the half-naked man walking around the corner…

(complete song can be found here)

According to a survey by Philips Electronics -in association with a Dutch fabric softener brand- men iron half-naked (if they iron at all) and women iron less often then they did 10 years ago. (source: BNdeStem, in Dutch)

Personally, I don’t find these results shocking at all. There’s a logical explanation: sexist emancipation. I only iron my own stuff when I really have to, but I do it the day before. My love only decides he has to iron clothes, when he’s already wearing them. The result is an “ironing-induced striptease” with me as audience. ) Nothing turns on modern women more than half-naked men doing household chores! Cunning, you say? Cheeky? Sure. Does it work? Definitely!