Whenever I do my laundry, I pair up my socks first before I throw them in the machine. Just in case. Not just to check if my Love has used the ‘official’ laundry basket this time for all his dirty clothes – underneath the bed or in the back of the closet are favorite locations for stray socks… – But also, because I want to be absolutely sure of the fact that I did in fact chuck two socks-of-one-kind in there. ‘Cause sometimes, only one sock comes out. His (or her) partner is nowhere to be found. It’s gone, absolutely gone.
This morning it happened again, only a month after the last unsolved disappearance, 5 months since the one before that one. I disassembled the machine as much as possible, but found no trace of the missing sock. Nor any evidence of a crime: not a piece of the fabric, not a thread. I am one hundred percent sure that I started out with a pair.
This gives rise to suspicions: does the washing-machine want a payment for its work? Is this the industrial answer to the virgin-offers to volcanoes? Is my favorite home appliance in fact nothing more than a serial killer?! And when will it strike again? Should I wash my socks by hand now?
I have paired up the widowed socks with each other, but I can feel their pain, their distress. They have permanent trauma, they envy the happy couples. Does anyone know a therapist for them, a conversation group?