1, 2, 3...

The first time I was not ready yet, I know now. The second time was nor good nor terribly bad, yet I failed, again, but sh*t happens. So I thought third time lucky. Not! I managed to suppress my fear-of-exams with happy thoughts and positive visualisations, yet one minute into my driver's exam, I discovered my left outside mirror was in a wrong position. "No!", I thought, "Don't panic!" Too late. Immediately I could not think normally anymore. I made one mistake after another. Murphy's Law: anything I could do wrong, I did wrong. And I knew it. It were the longest 35 minutes of my life! When we got out - miraculously unharmed - my instructor looked at me, and asked me what the F* happened?! I had no clue. It felt like some sort of out body experience combined with a total black out. I failed, off course.
The first time, I could blame it on the instructor, the second time, I could blame it on the examiner, this time, the only one I can blame is myself... I am not sure if I want to do this one more time!

 

Women only!

Millions of men will panic today when they learn that women have FOUR G-spots. It is the worst possible news for blokes who have struggled to find ONE.
They are being put on the spot by human biologist Desmond Morris, who believes there are three more super-sensitive zones in the upper part of the vagina. He has dubbed them the U-spot, C-spot and A-spot in his new book The Naked Woman.(source)

So, MyLove and I have work to do ;-D !!!

 

Itsy bitsy spider

You know its 'Autumn in Holland' when you discover a web between the saddle and the luggage carrier of your bicycle which a diadem spider has created overnight... It did not survive the ride, though...

 

Confessions of a sleepy head (part 2)

Apparently, one of the 'advantages' of being unemployed, is sleeping late. One of the prejudices towards unemployed peoples is, that us jobless people stay in bed till 10 or 11 AM. At least. (Often heard comment when I make an appointment at coffee time - around 10 AM : so you had to get up early today...). Please! I am a morning person. I get up at 7:30 AM. I have my most productive hours before noon. I can't function after sunset. I am in fact the complete opposite of MyLove, though this comes in very handy in terms of arrangements concerning computer access ;-D However, I have a dilemma. MyLove is doing this internship. Not in Hong Kong, India or Turkey as planned, but North of Amsterdam. So he has to get up early - really early - every day. At 5:45 AM. And I too. He just can't get out of bed if I'm still in it. I don't mind, I drink coffee and eat with him. I kiss him goodbye. At 6:25 AM. And then what? Previously, I just started the day early. But then again, this is an hour earlier. There's absolutely no reason to stay awake: nothings open, no shops, no offices - so I get back to bed. The first week, I had set the alarmclock at 7:30 AM. Not a good plan: the music roughly interrupted my REM-sleep and I was cranky all day long. This week, I have my alamclock set at.. 9 (NINE!) AM. Really, really late, according to my standards. Fortunately, I wake up half an hour earlier, so I don't feel like a 'slacker' yet...

 

Operation Super Market

I don't like doing groceries.
The only reason I do them is, because the alternative is hunger and starvation. (Sending MyLove out would have that same result: he thinks we can actually survive on coffee, beer and peanuts only). I hope the inventors of the freezer and refrigerator have received a Nobel-prize for their brilliant ideas, as they have made it possible that I only have to plan one visit per week to the place I imagine being Hell: the supermarket. I plan my weekly 'tour of duty' like a military campaign. The action plan is divided in three sections:
Section 1: Non Food. On the list is everything that we might run out off in the coming week .
Section 2: Food. After I've checked this week's special offers - on the supermarket's websites! - and have taken in account MyLove's weekly suggestions - Beer! Chips! Lasagna! - I write down all the meals for the week. Then I make a list of the necessary ingredients.
Section 3: Time. Careful long term surveillance has revealed the perfect time to shop. 1200 hours. No seniors, no stay-at-home-moms and certainly no kids. Fast shopping without delay at the counter.
Yes, I know, this too sounds incredibly like a compulsive act, but it is NOT. I just don't like doing the groceries, yet I like regularity and order. (I will go more than once a week - but only in an emergency, like unexpected dinner guests...)

 

Small print

At first I thought the coffee needed a bit more time to do its job - it still being early and all...
Then I thought it was the hangover - however, I immediately dismissed that thought considering the total absence of alcohol in my drinks last night...
Maybe I was experiencing the first signs of aging - should I schedule an appointment with an optician a.s.a.p.?
Finally I realised - really it took me about half an hour of staring at the screen - that MyLove has set the screen's resolution to 1280 x 1024!

 

To mom or not to mom

Shh...shh...Be very silent... I'm listening if I can hear my biological clock ticking... No *relieved* can't hear a thing.

You might wonder why was I listening in the first place? Because all my old classmates from school have kids except me? Because half of my friends is pregnant/trying/just delivered - almost infectious? Because of family comments - you are a couple now for a long time, and you have no job at the moment, why don't you...? Because of my
age? For all those reasons, but mostly because someone asked me last week if I did not WANT to become a mom at all.

To be completely honest: I don't. I do not want to become a mother yet. Maybe never, who knows? Most people are shocked when I tell them this so bluntly. Apparently the purpose of a woman remains becoming a mum someday. They say: "Maybe you think differently in a couple of years". I do not think so. (And so does my mum - she never thought about me as a mum someday. I never played 'mum-and-dad' or with baby dolls). Don't get me wrong: I don't hate kids. I like most of them, I adore one or two. But, does it make me a 'bad' woman if I don't want kids of my own?

 

It´s official

Say goodbye to the Sun, 'cause it's moving across the equator to the Southern Hemisphere right about...NOW!

 

Solly's Book Club

After reading the Da Vinci Code in one single breath, I bought Angels and Demons. I know, it's the wrong order, but hey, who cares. This morning, I looked out of the window - storm, clouds and rain - and checked my agenda - empty! no appointments, finally!- and decided it is a perfect day to stay inside and read. After 3 pages, I discovered this book roughly follows the same format as the Da Vinci Code - technically, it's the other way round, but who cares - : A murder, symbolism, suspense, a beautiful woman... but I don't care! This one is an absolute pageturner, too, and I can't put it down! I case you wonder about the apparent contradictio in terminus between not being able to put the book down and the writing of this post: it's next to the keyboard...The Illumnati went underground, where they mingled with other groups who were trying to escape from the purging actions of the catholic church: mystics, alchemists, occultists, Muslims and Jews. In years to come, the Illuminati..

 

Ode to Autumn

Officially, this year's Autumn starts tomorrow - at 17.25 PM CET to be precise - but for me personally Autumn starts today. The 21st of September. Period. As always. Last year's Autumn start was pretty extraordinary: I was tanning (!!!) in my inlaws back yard , for it was 25 degC and we had 9.6 hours of sun... 17degC and 4 hours of sun is normal for that time of the year. Anyway, today's weather looks to be pretty Autumny - is that a word actually? A bit of rain, cloudy, lots of wind and a hint of sun. Nice! Unlike some people, I like Autumn. It's the drama queen of all season's. The Lady Macbeth, you might say, with that hint of manic depression. It IS the season of contradictions. On one hand you have decay, death, storm, howling winds. On the other hand you have the pretty coloured leafs, hot coco and hutspot with the family... I think I will go to the forest this afternoon, an try to catch the first falling leaf!

 

Oops... she did it again!

I do not know if this is old news already but I just found out that Britney Spears got married last Saturday!!! It was a very stylish, high profile event, too:

For her second wedding Britney, 22, wore a white strapless gown made for her by little-known designer Monique L’Huillier. Kevin, a dad of two, wore a white tuxedo. Later the couple wore bizarre matching TRACKSUITS as they celebrated in a club afterwards. The bride wore a white sweatshirt with “Mrs Federline” on it, a frilly white halter-neck top, tracksuit bottoms and white trainers. Kevin, 26, wore a baggy tracksuit with “The Pimp” on the back, white trainers — and a grey trilby hat. The wacky wedding theme continued as Britney’s pals — and her mum Lynne and sister Jamie Lynn — wore pink velour tracksuits with “The Maids” on the back. Most of Kevin’s pals were dressed in white tracksuits with “Pimps” emblazoned on them. His dad was wearing a special suit with “Pimp Daddy” on it.

Ah well, as long as they're happy...

 

(...)

Hmmm.

Pfff.

Sorry, I really can't think of anything to write.
Oh, no, wait! Don't go!
Come back later... say... in the afternoon?
I must have recovered from my Monday morning writers block by then!

apologies for this absolute non-post, but I did not want to insert a test card...

 

Sunday morning feeling (4):

The churchbell is ringing constantly, but I won't go. MyLove's asleep, I stumble through the appartment with a big mug of coffee. I Smile. The streets are empty, the sun is shining. Nothing on tv, no shops open, no mail, no books I haven't read yet... Nice. A good, old-fashioned small-city boring lazy Sunday!

 

Fun on Friday (5)

The older you are, the bigger the chances to get high scores in this game....

 

One of those days

Warning for happy people: I aint today! Because 'this is my life and I don't give a damn'-log, I can also post negative stuff on it. Nothing seriously negative, though. I mean, I did get bad news, no life threatening diseases, no dead relatives or friends, it's just... *sighs*
I over slept, and I have a very busy day ahead of me... It started raining and I did not notice it at first which was crappy because I had hung my laundry outside in the - at that moment happily shining - sun... I turned my mattress and it fell right on top of me... I spilled coffee on the just cleaned floor... I bumped my knee into a pile of left-over laminated flooring boards and during my hopping around in pain I tripped over a cable... I just want to retreat to my sofa and - literally - lick my wounds, but I can't, I have a busy day ahead of me...

...and they say that writing down your feelings and thoughts is bad bad for your health? I definitely feel better now.
Thanks.

 

Men about the house

While I stroll through the apartment, I greet Franklin (once), Benno (twice) and Billy - four times. Ivar is not around, he went to the basement. I sigh. They are all so tall, fit and handsome... While checking them out, MyLove sneaks up to me from the back. He throws his arms around me. "Ain't they a good looking bunch?", he whispers in my ear. "I'm so happy I did not have to choose between them, but could take all of them home with me. You are such an understanding man!", I whisper back. He grabs my hand and we go upstairs. At the doorstep, I look over my shoulder and smile. "Good night to you all". They don't answer. I laugh softly about my silly behavior. Why should they answer, they are furniture...
(inspiration)

 

Dear Bad diary...

Keeping a diary is bad for your health, say UK psychologists. They found that regular diarists were more likely than non-diarists to suffer from headaches, sleeplessness, digestive problems and social awkwardness. Their finding challenges assumptions that people find it easier to get over a traumatic event if they write about it. (complete article)

Personally, - and I am definitely not the only one - I believe writing does help me to get over stuff, even though - or maybe because of - you really have to think things through and over in order to write readable

 

Where were you...

...And what were you doing three years ago?

At home, drinking coffee at the sofa. I had just packed my bags and was ready to leave for my offshore survival course. The TV was on and I was flipping through the channels. Newsflash - interruption on the Newschannel. Phone ringing at the same time. Mum. "Is your TV on?" And so I heard about the first plane-crash. I watched the second crash. Live. In shock, so surreal. Then the collapse of the Twin Towers. I will never get the image of people jumping to their destiny out of my memory. The Pentagon...I listened to the news on my walkman on my way to the course. I cried.

 

Hitchcock

I was walking down an alley, the kind you´d rather not walk at this hour of night. Dark, narrow, no houses, just walls. Normally I would have taken the long route, but it was raining. Hard. This shortcut meant 15 minutes less in the pouring rain and a reasonable decrease in the chance of catching my first common cold of the season. Halfway down the alley, I noticed a man at the other end, walking in my direction. Tall, big, not handsome ... The type you don´t want to meet in a dark alley at night. Alarm bells started ringing in my head. I remembered my ´self defense classes´, so I increased my pace, took a firmer grip on my handbag - heavy! weapon! - and looked down - avoid eye contact! Five meters away, the man slowed down. I made the mistake to look in his direction.
I saw him taking something out of his bag. Something small.
`Hello lady´, he said, and smiled to me. "Oh no" I thought, shivers running down my spine, "I should have listened to my conscious and taken the long route..." "Want a strawberry?"

A what?!
I noticed the man was holding a little box with fresh strawberries in front of me.
I refused his offer - "No. Thanks." - I was not hungry. Really. The man shrugged his shoulders. I walked on, and did not look back.

 

Sing along

Next Saturday I have a reunion of my former church choir.
<intermezzo> Q - from audience: "Solly, you sung in a church choir?! I mean, can you actually sing?!" A- from Solly herself: *cranky* Yes I can sing! *enthusiastically* But the choir was more than singing alone. It was an excuse to gossip, go wild, kiss guys, go to the local bar after rehearsal... Then there was the whole Catholic church choir and me being Lutheran thing... I had a great time!</intermezzo>
Anyway, I have had my share of reunions now - the burden of getting older ;-) - and I´m still not quite sure if I like them. I mean, its fun to meet old friends and find out what has become of them - did they get far in life, is the pretty girl still pretty (or has she gone fat!), is the hunk still hunky ... Yet, if it had been ´real friends´ you would have kept contact with them anyway. Then you have the whole unemployment thing... Plus, I used to be a wild chick back in the day... I mean really wild: lots of beer and boys...
<intermezzo> Solly´s inner teenager: I still am! I still am a wild chick. Look: Solly going wild! *sighs* Naah, not convincing anymore </intermezzo>.
Ah well, for old times sake, I´ll go to the reunion. I won´t kiss, but I will tell!

 

Come on...

All you need is your own imagination
So use it that's what it's for [that's what it's for]
Go inside, for your finest inspiration
Your dreams will open the door [open up the door]

It makes no difference if you're black or white
If you're a boy or a girl
If the music's pumping it will give you new life
You're a superstar, yes, that's what you are, you know it

Come on, vogue
Let your body move to the music [move to the music]
Hey, hey, hey
Come on, vogue
Let your body go with the flow [go with the flow]
You know you can do it!

(2nd verse plus chorus from Madonna's 'Vogue')

I can't wait for tonight!!!

 

So sad...

I could not agree more with John Kerry: 'Today marks a tragic milestone in the war in Iraq.' He made this comment, after receiving the news that the U.S. military death toll in Iraq reached 1000 on Tuesday, nearly 18 months after the invasion to topple Saddam Hussein. (complete article) The number has risen to 1002 already this morning...

 

Pounding techno music

Loud music can do more than damage your hearing - it can also cause your lungs to collapse. Experts writing in the 'Thorax' detail four cases where loud music fans experienced the condition, known as a pneumothorax. It is thought the intense pulses of low-frequency, high-energy sound causes the lung to rupture because air and tissue respond differently to sound. The usual risk factors for collapsed lungs are smoking, illness that has weakened the patient, chronic obstructive lung disease or use of drugs that depress alertness or consciousness, such as sedatives, barbiturates, tranquilizers, or alcohol. (more)

Low frequency sound, combined with smoke and alcohol... Damn: clubbing IS bad for your health...
I'll try to stand not too close to the loudspeakers, not inhale any second hand smoke and stay sober next Saturday night.
Sure, Solly, sure ;-D

 

Goodmorning ....* !!!

I just woke up with a happy smile on my face. Why, you ask me? Its not because I will paint the stairs this week. Or because the floors will be completely finished at the end of this week - only two more rooms to go. It's not even because MyLove might do his 6 month internship here, in the Netherlands, instead of in Hong Kong. All are wonderful things, difinitely but...
MADONNA IS COMING TO TOWN! AND I HAVE TICKETS! Fourteen years ago - the last time she was here - I was too young, but this Wednesday, I will see the icon of my generation performing live!!!

*) Location of person reading this stuff

 

Fashion victim

Forrest Gump: 'Those must be comfortable shoes. I bet you could walk around all day in shoes like that and not feel a thing.' Lady: 'My feet hurt.' (source)

I wore pink shoes with pointy noses on yesterday's wedding - not mine, MyLove's brother got married. Several female guests wore similar shoes: red, brown, black... all with pointy noses. One after another, the ladies swapped their 'torture-devices' for comfortable sneakers. Not me. I wore my pink pointy shoes all day and all evening. With pride. 'Those' weren't comfortable shoes: my feet hurt like hell, because my toes were squeezed into an arrow-shape. But I stood strong. I am a tough chick. I can stand the pain, in order to look pretty! (plus I forgot to bring my own comfi sneakers with me...)

 

The modern house wife?!

I just found myself 'Google-ing' on: clean laminated flooring...

ps. here you can read how to get rid of those nasty mashed-peas-and-carrots, coffee and wine stains. Yep, last night was fun!

 

Chaos and order

Thank goodness, we're done with the laminated flooring! Okay, it still needs some final touches here and there, but the furniture is back in place again. For the past week the house has been an absolute chaos. The living room was empty - except for a hard working Love and slowly growing laminated floor - and our stuff was everywhere. Nothing was were it used to be or where I thought it would be; I could not find anything any more... Some people say that people with a messy house probably suffer from a depression or other psychological problems... Well, the opposite is true, too. Chaotic casa: chaotic Solly! I could not concentrate, focus or think straight anymore; I walked around the apartment like a headless chicken. So, I followed a four day 'therapy' program, with one goal: spent as little time as possible at home (MyLove clearly stated he did NOT need help with the flooring).
Day 1: Occupational therapy (read: painting at the neighbours/in-laws)
Day 2: 'Find your inner child'-therapy (read: visit a fairy tale theme park with a bunch of women and one bachelorette)
Day 3: Retail therapy (read: shoes, accessories, groceries... Whatever)
Day 4: Relaxation therapy (read: a day in a spa with a certain bachelorette)
Today: the house is clean and orderly again.
I am cured!